Do You Fib To Empower Someone Else’s Feelings?

by Reid on June 12, 2021

Do You Fib To Empower Someone Else’s Feelings?

 

 

 

 

 

Cathy: Someone wrote in and said, “When is it okay to fib to spare someone’s feelings? Are you just empowering them if you do that or just being a nice person?” I’m here with Reid Mihalko from http://hbqyqh.com/

Reid: And the person sitting next to me is Cathy Vartuli of http://theintimacydojo.com/ and here’s my quick answer ‘coz we don’t have a lot of time for this video. My quick answer is, have a conversation with the people closest to you about “when is it okay for us to fib on each other?” That, that would be the best answer I can give you because the answer is, it depends on the person.

Cathy: Yeah

Reid: And it probably depends on the fib but if you want to, if you want to “get out of jail get out of fibbing jail free card,” the way to do it is, create a conversation and a context with your friends and just find out because you’ll probably learn a lot about your friends.

Cathy: Yeah

Reid: But you know if you’re fibbing because you think they can’t handle it, that does sound like you’re disempowering them because if they could handle it then you would tell them the truth

Cathy: Yeah

Reid: Person who left the question

Cathy: No and I think it’s a great question. I think there’s some rare in there too.

Reid: What’s that rare?

Cathy: Well, some of them maybe private for me like especially for someone I don’t know well, I don’t want to necessarily tell them “Oh, I was gonna get that thing done but I was really feeling sick to my stomach I spent the day at the toilet.”

Reid: Yeah, but that was to spare someone’s feelings.

Cathy: Yeah, but you might be like we make up stuff to spare their feelings or spare our feelings I guess.

Reid: Whose feelings are you sparing?

Cathy: Yeah, it’s a good question. And how much detail do you give?

Reid: I smell disempowerment everywhere and a lack of context.

Cathy: Yeah, well, it’s also how much do you want to invest in giving the context to someone. Are they worth like is their relationship worth…I try to be as honest as I can and then sometimes there’s just efficiency as well.

Reid: Or you could ask a different question

Cathy: What’s that?

Reid: Which would be more kind

Cathy: Oh, really good question.

Reid: to tell somebody the truth or to lie to them? Leave your comments below.

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